I Disappear
by Soul Reaver
Summary: Shipwreck torments Beach Head during the GI Joe Talent Show to the tune of Metallica's I Disappear...


I Disappear  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own either GI Joe or Metallica's I Disappear.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Tonight's GI Joe Talent Show begins, first act is a music video by Alpine, Ace, Shipwreck, and Bazooka performing Metallica's I Disappear." General Hawk said.  
  
Bazooka plays base, Ace is on the drums, Alpine's back up guitar and Shipwreck is the lead singer. They all come out dressed like Metallica in their music video I disappear. Shipwreck dons his sunglasses and they start playing as they do, a certain object falls out of his back pocket. A teddy bear dressed in camouflage fatigues and spit shined boots.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOLDING SERGEANT SNUFFLES!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL!!!! YYAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" Beach Head shouts and runs onto the stage, the others keep playing their music while Shipwreck scoops up Sergeant Snuffles, singing.  
  
Hey Hey Hey Here I go now Here I go into new days Hey Hey Hey Here I go now Here I go into new days I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffer Yeah Hey Hey Hey Yeah Yeah Here I go into new days  
  
Beach Head starts tearing the set apart with his bare hands, chasing after Shipwreck who remains one step ahead of him. Beach Head suddenly starts sprouting a pair of reptilian wings and starts flying after Shipwreck, chasing him across the desert.  
  
Hey Hey Hey Ain't no mercy Ain't no mercy there for me Hey Hey Hey Ain't no mercy Ain't no mercy there for me I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffer Yeah yeah hey hey no mercy Ain't no mercy there for me  
  
Shipwreck runs into a city and hastily dons a black three piece suit, trying to blend in amongst a bunch of uptight executives. He spies Beach Head the same moment Beach Head spies him and Beach Head start tearing through the milling crowd of executives throwing people left and right as he chases Shipwreck.  
  
Do you bury me when I'm gone Do you teach me while I'm here Just as soon as I belong Then it's time I disappear  
  
Shipwreck jumps into a 1988 Chevy Corvette and starts it up, he floors the accelerator just as a completely berserk Beach Head chases him. The Corvette does a jump over a hill and Beach Head is yelling insanely, chasing Shipwreck's car with inhuman speed. He throws a brick through the back.  
  
Sitting a stoplight, Shipwreck is looking in his rear view mirror out the driver's side when it disappears. "Warning, insane demented Beach Head's in the mirror are closer than they appear!" he muses as he drives off at top speed.  
  
Hey Hey Hey And I went And I went on down that road Hey Hey Hey And I went on And I went on down that road I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffer Hey Hey Hey Yeah And I went on And I went on down that road  
  
Cut to Shipwreck standing atop a plateau with the other guys playing their instruments in the background. Polly lands on his shoulder as he starts to sing.  
  
Do you bury me when I'm gone Do you teach me while I'm here Just as soon as I belong Then it's time I disappear  
  
In the background an insanely angry Beach Head can be seen scaling the cliff, his eyes are blood red with fury as Shipwreck runs off again.  
  
Do you bury me when I'm gone Do you teach me while I'm here Just as soon as I belong Then it's time I disappear Disappear  
  
Cut to Bazooka lying in bed with Sergeant Snuffles in his arms, he hears his door being torn down and Beach Head coming after him with a baseball bat. Not being known for his blinding intelligence Bazooka leaps out of the window of his apartment, taking Sergeant Snuffles with him.  
  
I'm gone I'm gone I'm gone Oh yeah I'm gone I'm gone I'm gone baby I'm gone I'm gone  
  
Shipwreck runs across the plateau again with Beach Head chasing him with murder in his eyes. Polly drops a bra, intending it to land on Beach Head but it lands on Shipwreck's head instead.  
  
Off screen we hear Cover Girl shout, "Your are so dead Shipwreck!!!!"  
  
"You stupid squawk box, drop that thing on Beach Head! Not me! Beach Head!!!" Shipwreck shouts.  
  
"Awk! You all look the same from up here! Awk!" Polly replies.  
  
Do you bury me when I'm gone Do you teach me while I'm here Just as soon as I belong Then it's time I disappear  
  
"Come back here you pesky parrot!" Shipwreck shouts, chasing the bird, Cover Girl's bra in one hand.  
  
"Give that back you dirty perverted old sailor!" Cover Girl shouts, running after Shipwreck.  
  
"GIVE ME BACK SERGEANT SNUFFLES! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!!" Beach Head shouts.  
  
Just then Bazooka comes down the street in a wheelchair, after having just been released from the hospital. "Gangway! Coming through!" Shipwreck shouts.  
  
"Oh shit." Bazooka moans, unable to get out of the way, Shipwreck collides with him just as both Beach Head and Cover Girl catch up with Shipwreck and in a tangle of arms, legs, and people Bazooka's wheel chair rolls down a very steep hill at full speed.  
  
Shipwreck is still singing the last verse of the song as they narrowly avoid being hit by several cars at rush hour going through a very busy intersection. They crash through several food stalls in the open air marts in Chinatown and go headlong through a restaurant and right out the kitchen before several astonished guests.  
  
Do you bury me when I'm gone Do you teach me while I'm here Just as soon as I belong Then it's time I disappear Disappear  
  
Bazooka's wheel chair crashes into a cluster of garbage cans and the four Joes are lying in a tangle. Shipwreck is face down in a garbage can, his legs sticking out. Cover Girl is lying against a telephone pole.  
  
Beach Head staggers about and before he falls over croaks, "Medic." 


End file.
